Cholera is not a laughing matter.

Today I saw a guy on a moto with a pink Daniel Boone-style skunk hat. Complete with the striped-tail flowing down his back. It was epic.

This led to an ‘you won’t believe what I’ve seen in Cameroon/Rwanda’ competition with my dear friend Natalia, until I had to excuse myself to go take care of business.

You see this morning Grace and I both ate croissants, which I am now convinced were made (as Grace put it) with cholera-water and salmonella-eggs. Gross, perhaps, but that certainly would explain the rumbley-feelings in my stomach which are as far from the Hundred-Acre Wood as one can get. (For those of you who did not read the Winne-the-Pooh books as a child and therefore missed that AWESOME reference, shame on your mother.)

Speaking of mothers, I feel very sorry for Patty for having to put up with someone like Grace who comes up with such a disgusting thought. I mean, how gross is it to imagine cholera water being purposefully put into someone’s food. It’s just dégelas Grace. It’s a good thing I have entered Patty’s life seeing as I am a complete angel.

I really need my own kitchen so I stop eating things like the C.S. croissants (cholera-salmonella croissants, just in case you missed it). Happily, yesterday I braved the archbishop’s office to ask for his blessing to switch from one posh abode to a more humble one. He said yes, it was far easier than it had been in my head, AND his secretary and I now have a date to go see her tailor! (You don’t understand, her clothes are so loose and flowy and seeing as I am trying to walk everywhere to minimize moto rides I take without a helmet I’m a sweaty mass of flesh during most of the day. Please, reflect on that image. Now once more, gooood.)

Basically all I am waiting for now is to hear back from my future land-lady Catherine that the apartment is ready to go. We were supposed to go see her today, but in true Cameroonian style (after asking what time we would show up) was at the market during our appointed meeting time. Luckily it didn’t really matter, because the whole ‘time doesn’t exist here’ thing isn’t very dérange -ing anymore. Well I mean it is a little, but it wasn’t like it was class. Of course I know that none of my students will ever show up late for class…right?

After the failed meeting attempt, I showed Patty and Grace around the University. We walked down the street to the Cave of Wine and Liquor where the lady told us we were all very pretty. Patty then escorted me to the market, showed me where the gare is and where she buys vegetables.

Okay, hilarious side note. Currently trying to update my Norton so I don’t get any nasty viruses (it’s incredibly difficult to put a condom on a USB drive, after all…) but the internet is so slow that it cannot complete the process. I clicked on tech support which also couldn’t load, and it gave me numbers to contact in different countries. Unhappily Cameroon was not on the list. Rats in a barrel. I’ll try it again, it got three definition updates last time and it only has three more to go! Come on interweb, I know you can do it!

The other thing I learned today is that my Christmas break is from the 16^th or the 18^th of December until the 3^rd of January. How is that for planning Nina? I think that it makes things a bit difficult, because I feel like those times could change….at any moment. There’s not even a secure date for starting/finishing. Also since my class is starting later than other classes (I start on the 25^th) I am not sure if I will have to stay later as well. Hmm…

Tomorrow I’m going to Patty’s for breakfast and we’re going to make banana pancakes! Maybe we’ll go to church (by we, I mean Grace and myself, Patty has demurred) and then mayhaps I’ll make my way over to Catherine’s house to see the progress of my apartment? It’s not really a great idea to make plans that you have no control over, the best thing for me to do is to say that by tomorrow I will have compiled a complete list of things I will need to have an independent apartment in Cameroon. Sweet. I love accomplishable goals.

It also appears that I can update everything except the IPS and Virus definitions. Thanks internet. I’ll have to try this again soon.

Additionally, my final response to the post-title. Other things which are not funny: wife-beating, going faster on the moto when the rider tells you to slow down, and Cameroonian calls at 5:30 am, 5:32 am, 5:33 am, 5:35 am… You get the picture.